Showing posts with label knitting fables. Show all posts
Showing posts with label knitting fables. Show all posts

Friday, 4 November 2016

Kindergarten Cheat Sheet and Other Knitting Fables

Carolyn liked her afghan bathrobe so much she saw no need to ever change out of it, not even when she was running away from home.

Debbie had never really learned to do without her kindergarten cheat sheet, but she had managed to make her dependency on it less obvious.

Ariel's fishnet and bikini installation was a big hit at the Merpeople Art Gallery. As a lot of the attendees told her, it not only made an important political statement but was also wearable and a nice change from the usual seashell cup bra.

Ursula's fishnet ballgown design was equally admired, and Ariel and Ursula began to form a grudging respect for one another.

For Gwendolyn, hand dyeing her yarn was a spiritual experience.

When Sakiko, Miyo, and Toshi decided to rebrand their knitting club as an imperial court of knitting, their first step was to knit themselves suitable ceremonial robes.

Blair and Ashley thought their "sexy medieval lady knight" costumes had turned out rather well.

During her trip to the beach, Chelsea's post modern bathing cap had proven more or less satisfactory, but her knitted life preserver had turned out to be a life hazard because it immediately become waterlogged. Worse, she hadn't even happened to pick a day when the hot lifeguard was on duty.

During her day at the beach, Adrienne was disappointed that everyone was too busy rescuing Chelsea to pay attention to the new bathing suit she'd styled out of her knitted swatches.

Brenna was delighted that she had finally found a way to put her surplus fridge magnets to good use.

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

The Muses of Creativity and other knitting fables

Tessa's new sweater design also doubled as a bean bag chair.

Sometimes Willow and Cleo liked to get dressed up in their sleek, post-modern designs and move about and head butt each other in a sinuous, cat-like way.

On one of his stealth missions to earth, Arlnxxoq had accidentally stumbled onto a fashion runway, where he tried desperately and futilely to signal his home planet, unaware that he was being simultaneously acclaimed as the latest fashion sensation.

Being president of the Canadian chapter of the KISS fan club was a big and sometimes frustratingly complex responsibility, but Brad always had his knitting to help him stay calm and brainstorm solutions.

Nyssa thought her new "Melted Crayons" fashion line had turned out well.

The Dexter family decided that since the family therapy didn't seem to be helping they'd save themselves some money by coming up with their own methods of fostering togetherness and resolving difficulties, such as spending every Friday night in their animal masks, worn backwards, meowing, barking, roaring, and trumpeting at one another to express their innermost feelings. And they were happy with the results, because Backwards Mask Night built such a bond that they were able to present a united front when their neighbours began to complain.

When Joletta realized she didn't have enough free time to properly commune with the Muses of Creativity out in the garden, the Muses suggested that she drop out of her knitting club and began to create her own knitwear by glue gunning crap all over her sweaters.

Torrance was thrilled with his new raving outfit. His psychedelic yarn and shoes would make him stand out in any crowd of ravers.

May was thrilled with her steampunk bridal outfit, though as her mother pointed out, she didn't look it.

Riva had been hired to create costumes and sets for a new extreme knitting themed version of The Wizard of Oz that had been tentatively titled The Oz., and she was rather proud of how her Scarecrow costume had turned out.

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

He Who Has Many Eyes and other knitting fables

Ewan loved the new ski mask he'd made so much that he wore it everywhere, until the day he wore it into a bank and everyone overreacted. He didn't understand what the fuss was about. As he later disgustedly told his cellmate in holding, sure he'd had a ski mask on and a shotgun in his hand, but as everyone knew, Colorado was both a great place to ski and an open carry state.

During the subsequent trial Ewan got a lot of social media support from many fellow ski mask lovers, which he really appreciated, but also some less welcome overtures from other mask devotees, such as the guy who referred to himself He Who Has Many Eyes. But then, Ewan reflected, when you become a public figure during a fight for justice, there were bound to be some freaks coming out of the woodwork who didn't really understand the cause.

After the trial, Ewan yielded a point and quit wearing his ski masks into banks, liquor and convenience stores, and the like, but he insisted that his two sons continue to wear their sweater and ski mask sets to school. They'd never learn rugged individualism any younger.

Far from being embarrassed by the onset of puberty, Imogene not only embraced and broadcast it but continued to do so long after she was past adolescence.

A serious yardage miscalculation and reckless overuse of yarn at the beginning end of her project led Shea to run out of yarn long before her dress was finished, but she felt that, with the addition of a crocheted modesty panel made from the leftover scraps, the old window sheer she'd had lying around did very nicely for the skirt.

Kesia loved her new meditation suit. The hip pads helped her to sit upright and the detail over her navel area helped her remember to focus her energy on her hara.

Leonora took the next step in her quest to simplify her life when she did away with backpacks by beginning to knit backpacks into all her sweaters. Her next task, she decided, would be to figure out how to do without shoes.

Nyssa wasn't about to compromise her sense of style by wearing knitted caps in cold weather. Wearing knitted wigs with coordinated lipstick was just as warm and much more distingueée.

After his 325th viewing of A Clockwork Orange, Denny put together a Halloween costume to pay tribute to his favourite movie. His friends told him it was very Bauhaus, then directed him into the women's washroom just to be jerks.

Eulalie's new line of gravewear-inspired lingerie didn't seem to be taking off.

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Stash the Movie and Other Knitting Fables

Jerome was trying to popularize the new extreme sport he'd invented and called "blind biking", but it didn't seem to be taking off.

Martina and Boris felt that their ballet corps' new costume designer hadn't quite grasped the concept of the classic pas de deux.

Ursula's latest design represented the tragic plight of a late season dandelion that had barely survived an encounter with a lawn mower, and was also designed to help its wearer survive a heat wave without air conditioning.

When Raphaela's first knitting project didn't turn out well and even her attempts at darning over her mistakes proved an embarrassment, she found a way to make it wearable. Her knitting circle urged her to rip it out and begin again, but Raphaela's life philosophy was all about moving forward, not do overs.

Marnie considered knitting to be a time sink. Macramé was much more her speed, particularly if she could stay in perpetual motion while she was wearing it so that no one would have a chance to assess her work.

When Creighton decided to take up hiking, she knitted a hiking costume that would double as a two-piece sleeping bag, and then had her staff roll out a custom-fitted white carpet before her in order to keep the soles of her boots clean as she walked in the woods. People had always said that her life of extreme privilege as the daughter of a multi-billionaire who owned and lived on his own island (populated only by his employees) had unfitted her for real life, but they didn't know how practical and creative she could be.

After Gavin made one too many comments about his girlfriend's inability to finish any of the knitted items she'd promised him, he suddenly found himself standing outside her apartment wearing her entire pile of unfinished projects while the apartment door slammed shut and noisily locked behind him.

Everyone told Coral that her new knit dress was really very cute and sharp in itself and needed no special styling, but she thought she couldn't consider the look complete without some really special, head-turning millinery.

"Stash", the titular character from the new craft-themed horror franchise Stash, got a great reaction from the audience during test screenings. Knitters and crocheters in the audience especially reported that he definitely played upon their worst craft room fears.

"Stitch Ripper Face" also proved popular with test audiences, but the producers and director of Stash decided to reserve him for a later movie.

Monday, 30 November 2015

Creative Anagramming and Other Knitting Fables

When Mike Palesell's girlfriend gave him a sweater with his name spelled out in floral letters on the back, he made it a little more wearable and more his style by rearranging the letters of his name.

Troy had asked his grandmother for "a classic cable or argyle sweater" for Christmas, but it did not end well. He envied his buddy Mike for his sweater's creative anagramming potential.

When the Sleepyside High School basketball team couldn't raise enough money for new uniforms, the Sleepyside Junior Fingerknitting Club came to the rescue.

Helen and Lois were pretty sure their knitwear was much too chic for whatever Carol Burnett sketch they'd just wandered into.

While Helen and Lois argued their point with Carol Burnett, Estelle awaited her debut as the latest Carol Burnett Show sketch character, a long-lost member of "Mama's Family".

Sam thought that his macramé corset was a brilliant way to show support for feminism, but his sister suggested that there were better and more productive ways to show support, such as putting an immediate stop to all his frequent "women are crazy" jokes.

Viola's original idea for knitting a faux fur shrug into her pullover had lost something in its execution because she had gotten confused as to which end was the top of the sweater and which was the bottom.

Jared felt that there was no need to deny either his love for the macabre or his past as a member of the Mickey Mouse Club.

Paige commemorated the happiest day of her life by knitting all her leftover wedding decorations and favours into a sweater. She was thrilled with the result, and even more delighted when she managed to coordinate the look with pink-soled, pink-laced, clear vinyl Doc Martens and frilled yellow ankle socks, but her friends wondered if they should start planning some kind of intervention. After all, it had been three years since Paige's six-month marriage ended in divorce.

Zima's crocheted spiderweb Halloween costume had been such a hit that she'd started wearing it out clubbing as well. Everyone had to admit she carried it off much better than they ever would have thought possible.